2014 so far

sh3rlockable:

the-coolest-cat-in-town:

phampants:

thesmashbro:

fabuloushetahungary:

punished-gagsy:

anguisant:

the-internet-addict:

smallvagina:

kawaiiibatman:

smallvagina:

January: Selfie Olympics

February: Flappy Bird

lets see how the rest of the year goes

March: No Oscar for Leonardo DeCaprio

image

April: it’s a metaphors, you’re a metaphors, we are a metaphor, if I see another metaphor I’m going to kill someone

May:

image

June:

image

July:

image

August:
image

September

image

October

image

Lol

(via benaddict-hiddleston)

inteligasm:

actionjacksonlovesbbq:

I wish more cartoons taught young girls that if a man harasses you or annoys you or whatever you should blow him up with a bazooka and feel no remorse :)))

Ivy leaned back to avoid the propulsion blast. They’ve done this before.

(Source: positivelycrippled, via benaddict-hiddleston)

methwithari:

mihcael:

cliffordangst:

Promise?

aww such a baby

IN LOVE

(Source: 1975cliffrd, via fknmichael)

Not all girls are like you

(Source: imgonnaeditstuff, via benaddict-hiddleston)

hermionejg:

fishingboatproceeds:

ohcurtains:

ofgeography:

so here’s a fun story about this movie. guess who loves this movie? me! i do! i love this movie. i love this movie so much that when i was in the 7th grade and i saw “first wives club 2” on pay per view i was like: HELL YEAH!! FIRST WIVES CLUB TWO!! NO ONE TOLD ME THERE WAS A SEQUEL!!!

here’s the synopsis for first wives club 2:

disgruntled first wives take their ex-husbands’ new lovers under their wing.

sounds great, right? awesome viewing material for a precocious 11-year-old.

so i buy this movie, and like, three minutes into it i’m starting to feel suspicious?? like it’s really low quality and my girls are nowhere in sight?? how come none of the first wives are the same?? how come they’re alone in a bedroom with mood lighting?? why is she taking off her shirt?? why are they both taking off their shirts?? WHY ARE THEY—

here’s what i did not know about first wives club 2:

  • it is a lesbian porno of no relation to the beloved 1996 classic.

so of course i, horrified that i’ve accidentally bought porn on my family’s account (and in that state of panic that kids work themselves into whenever anything regarding sex is mentioned), quickly shut off the TV and go upstairs and watch an episode of veggie tales to like, cleanse my soul and apologize to jesus, and that’s that.

EXCEPT, OF COURSE:

  • you have to pay for pay per view.

so the end of the month comes and i have completely put this incident out of my mind, haha, i accidentally bought porn, how funny, TELL NO ONE. right? and i’m sitting at a nice dinner with my mother, my stepfather, and my very religious aunt deb, and we’re just talking about farm things, whatever, when suddenly my mother puts her fork down and says, “okay, there’s something we need to discuss. as a family.”

  • AS A FAMILY.

and i’m like, running through a list of people i know who could conceivably be dead, and fantasizing about my mother announcing that she’s going to buy me My Own Computer Just Because U Earned It Kiddo, and she pulls out a piece of paper that says DIRECTV across the top. and i’m like: OH NO.

"i received the tv bill today," my mother said, and i was like, shoveling potatoes into my mouth as fast as i could because i knew that when i went to PORN PRISON they weren’t going to feed me this kind of quality starch. "does anybody want to tell me who purchased the pornography?"

as a reminder, a quick table survey:

  • my mother, surprised and disappointed by the porn bill (innocent)
  • my stepfather, a grumbly old cowboy who just wants to sing along to kenny chesney and watch the hunt for red october (innocent)
  • my aunt deb, a super religious catholic whose best friend is a nun named Sister Placid (innocent)
  • me, the 11-year-old with a mouthful of potatoes who definitely purchased the lesbian pornography

silence.

my mother said, “i’m not going to ask again.”

silence.

my aunt looked at my stepdad. my stepdad looked at my aunt. NOBODY LOOKED AT ME, THE 11-YEAR-OLD WITH A MOUTHFUL OF POTATOES WHO DEFINITELY PURCHASED THE LESBIAN PORNOGRAPHY.

my mother shook her head and put the bill down. “this was incredibly inappropriate,” she said. “skip, deb, whoever. buy that shit on your own time. i’m not paying for it. what if molly had seen it?”

  • WHAT IF MOLLY HAD SEEN IT?

"don’t expose my kid to that crap."

  • DON’T
  • EXPOSE
  • MY KID
  • TO THAT CRAP

"if you want to watch porn, fine, but do it in private and don’t expect me to pay for it. i can’t believe one of you did that in the living room."

  • I CAN’T BELIEVE ONE OF YOU DID THAT
  • IN THE LIVING ROOM

but molly, why didn’t you own up to it and explain that it was an accident?

  • are you fucking kidding
  • i did not want to go to porn prison

the fun conclusion to this story is that i never owned up to it, which means that there are 3 people in the world who have not solved the mystery of the lesbian porn. a quick survey:

  • my mother, who lives every day wondering whose porn she paid for
  • my stepfather, who probably wishes he knew less about his wife’s sister’s porn preferences
  • my aunt, who probably wishes she knew less about her sister’s husband’s porn preferences

but molly, why don’t you own up to it now, with the safety of time and distance and the knowledge that porn prison isn’t real?

  • are you fucking kidding
  • this is the best thing i’ve ever done

what an amazing story

Wow.

Someone get this lady a book deal because I want to read Tolstoy length books by her.

(Source: bellecs, via thisbedottie)

confessionsofarebel:

wirelessinfidelity:

apatheticghost:

boys are so lucky they have boners to tell them that theyre horny because girls are just like am i horny or am i hungry or am i bored i dont know i dont have a dick

That’s definitely an interesting take. But sometimes we get boners for no reason and it’s something like “What is it boy? Did you see something?”

You two are my new favorite people on this site.

I ship it.

(via lexyimpala)

kazi-is-amazing:

tHAT WAS SO CUTE??? ????????

(via lexyimpala)

thefishwhoalwayssaysmyleg:

maydayinwonderland:

every song can be depressing if u try hard enough

where do we come from?

where do we go?

where do we come from?

*tear slowly streams down face*

*whispers dramatically* cotton eye joe

(Source: justalocalnative, via lexyimpala)

eternallydeancas:

au: cas and dean are human, the gates of heaven and hell are closed, and sam is starting a new life for himself. so dean and cas decide to go on a road trip together once everything has settled down. needless to say, sam regrets showing them how to use snapchat. [dean’s version]

OHMYGOD. THIS IS THE BEST. UGH. GAH. <3

(via lexyimpala)

the11supernovas:

oh you’re watching pacific rim? i love that movie, the way they just [clenches fist] rim all of the pacific

(via lexyimpala)